Friday, November 20th, 2009

Those of us who received auditing and training more than 20 years ago can remember the incredible joy of 24/7 out of body living and watching miracles take place almost every day.

I remember going from an introverted, cynical, and embittered middle-aged man to a gentle and loving person after being run on a certain  repair list in Life Repair. Driving home from that session was a hoot because my peripheral vision had opened up and I could see far off both sides of the road while focused on the center line.

I still remember the first time that women started hugging me as a friendly greeting. It blew my mind that men and women could actually be affectionate in a non-sexual way. That phenomenon continues to this very day. It still surprises me when I meet someone for the first time and after a short conversation they reach out to give me a hug as a parting greeting.

My Life Repair started slow and ended rather spectacularly,  leaving me a different person with all sorts of whole track recall on people I was meeting in daily life. It changed things for me in a big way when  I started being able to recognize people I had known before. The instant attractions and enmities I had experienced for many years started making sense for the first time.

I saw the value of training in my very first exposure to Scientology.  A most ordinary and non-charismatic staff member engaged me in conversation after a frankly disappointing Personality Test review. She asked me something along the lines of, “Is anything stopping you in life?” and I unloaded forty years of disappointment and loss in one go with tears streaming down my face.

When I ran down, she asked me, “What would your life be like if you could handle that?” The words poured out of me in a torrent and I cried tears of relief at the thought of actually being able to change my life for the better.

The interesting part of this was that I was more interested in where she got the training to do what she had just done. When she said, “I’m an auditor and I got my training here”. I finally knew what I wanted to do with my life. That was in the mid-Seventies and I spent the next twenty years getting trained and auditing others.

That was then and things have changed since then…

As time went on, I saw more emphasis on pushing stats than on freeing beings and I finally withdrew from active connection with the Church of Scientology.

In recent years I have seen a growing gulf in reality between those who have had life-changing gains from Scientology in past years and those who have “progressed” to the upper levels with little or no case gain. Quicky actions, and invalidative case actions have shortchanged those who sought freedom.

A person who has never experienced case gain or past lives from Scn processing has every reason to believe from personal experience that it is all a scam.  Powered by hope alone, the members of this latter group are easy prey to doubts since they have no stable data that the tech actually works.

When I read about Sea Org members with years of service and no real auditing, I see a betrayal of the worst kind on the part of Int Mgmt.

One of the best things that will happen is when the independent field offers repair actions for all case levels. Sometimes it doesn’t take much. The right indication can rehabilitate heavily invalidated case states.

If independent Scientologists continue to grow in numbers and in strength, those who have been denied gains because of out-tech will have a chance to get the gains they are capable of.

Saving the field is what its all about. A distributed model of service may be the future if the CofS is not reformed.

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