Special thanks to Misha Priv
for translating this article into English.

Visit Misha’s website: Thetawrite

Russian version can be found on I CAN CHANGE MY LIFE website:

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Sergej Terpenev

In the US my drinking binges came in succession about 4-5 months apart. And between binges I habitually lied to myself and everybody else that the previous binge was the last ever. Telling you this right now, after 3 years of sobriety, the entire sordid lifestyle and lies seem ludicrous. I am not going to bore you with all the romantic details of my life from hangover to hangover. It suffices to mention that I was hospitalized twice, each time for just one night. They’d kick me out in the morning, detoxified with some kind of IV and pumped with pills that seemed to make my legs freeze so I couldn’t even make it to the bathroom unassisted. They also charged me over $2000 for each of my hospital stays. As fog would eventually clear from my head, I’d realize once again that drinking mouthwash just set me back financially more than if I’d been drinking very expensive collectors wines.

You could always work more and earn more money but where are you going to get the health needed to work?! That is the question! I will tell you a secret: I am very lucky in life since I am still alive despite all the poison I consumed.

And I lucked out once again—I met a Russian doctor, a psychiatrist, also from Moscow. Our conversation was private so I will not disclose his name here. My new friend told me straight as a reply to my inquiries as to the methods of treatment, “Sergey, open your eyes. Alcoholism is incurable. Do you know why? Because it is not an illness, it is a dependency. There is no medical way to cure this condition. Intro-venous injections, cleansings and abstersions, pills and death threats do not rid a person of his addiction, they simply cause a remission. Therefore, if we consider alcoholism an illness, you will be stuck with treating it for the rest of your life.”

That wise and, to me, honest doctor advised me to try a lemon therapy, which supposedly reduced alcohol dependency. He did mention in passing, however, that we should check my stomach and health in general before we start such an abrasive therapy—just to avoid any adverse consequences. I replied sadly, “Alex, what are you talking about? What consequences? I drank everything, including glue. Don’t worry! A lemon diet to my stomach after everything it’s been through is gentle like a diet!”

Thus, over three years ago I started my sober life. The lemon therapy was long and difficult. On my own risk, I tried yet another therapy—a radical treatment, which would either work or I’d be dead. I devoured great quantities of minced lemons—a quart a day. The regimen consisted of 24 days of eating a quart of lemons and then 6 days of no lemons—and so it went for six very sour months. I thank my friends who were supplying me with lemons by bucket-full, helping me defeat the cursed affliction.

Every once in a while I would drop into sleep, where I dreamt of getting drunk so vividly that I’d wake up with a hangover and specific taste in my mouth. Thank God, these would go away and I’d embark on yet another day of sobriety. I noticed that the nightmares of binging visited me after very difficult days when things were going wrong, when I wasn’t able to handle something—the stressed out days.

And then I got lucky again! My dear wife offered me a book which contained a detailed description of a program to clean out toxins from the body. I told you I was lucky! In that book I found the answer to the questions that was haunting me, now sober. The question was why did the overwhelming desire to drink alcohol keet coming back, followed by the imaginary, yet so real, hangover sensation?

A damn interesting situation: I did actually abstain from drinking but in my dreams—and how vivid and life-like!—my friends and I would set up a table by the river with pickles, sausages, radishes, some green onion and a couple of bottles of vodka and then… I would jump out of bed covered in cold sweat, horrified at the thought of drinking again and all the subsequent agonizing hangovers. How could I get rid of those dreams?

Looking for the answers I searched the web and found a lot of data on alcohol dependency problems and solutions. I was shocked at the sheer volume of articles and essays on that subject—written mostly by people who never lived through it, had no intimate understanding of the problem and, in my opinion, lacked practical knowledge. I was different in that respect as I personally lived through this nightmare for many years and tried everything. That is how I finally came to my decision to write this article.

As skeptical of everything as Apostle Thomas, I carpingly filtered everything I read through the strainer of my personal life experience in order to isolate anything really promising and helpful for those who had the courage to change their lives. Sliding down into the grave of alcohol dependency with varying speed, all of us alcoholics moved toward the same destination—personal degradation and death. That entire process of transformation from home sapiens to an alcoholic, regardless of any differences in age or social status, was marked with same stages of gradual disintegration. We all went through those same stages. Consequently, albeit theoretically, there must have existed a reversed process of coming back to life that would work equally effectively on all involved and help all of us equally.

So why do I dream of vodka? I searched the internet again and found the answer, although my research yielded an article about the same program that my wife told me about earlier. Here is how it works: the scientists found that during times of mental or physical stress, the body, in its attempt to restore the depleted energy, burns fat cells. And it so happens, as postulated and proven by an American researcher Ron Hubbard in the 70th, that residues of toxins are stored and accumulated specifically in fat tissues. And that includes alcohol.

Now that all made sense! You get nervous and pissed off, something went out of control at work—the body immediately consumes some of your fat cells that contain residues of alcohol. That means that vodka or mouthwash that you drank five or ten years ago once again enter your blood stream and reach, among other things, your brain. The brain, having received the stimulus, issues an order, “Give more!” And resumed drinking is so far from what you really want and you are so reluctant to slide back down the hole now when you finally regained some of the self-respect and yet—here we go! It’s a crying shame.

I kept studying the developments of the Americans in this area. Hubbard suggested replacing toxic fat cells with new clean cells so that no brain games would throw us off our course! Described in detail in L. Ron Hubbard’s book Clear Body, Clear Mind, the medications-free detoxification method is generally composed of the following:

  • Good nutrition consisting of a lot of fresh vegetables, vitamins and vegetable oils;
  • Physical exercise (30 minutes of jogging a day);
  • Lengthy periods of sauna sweat-outs—up to 4.5 hours daily (in 10-15-minute increments in the sauna and short cool-down and rest periods).

Detoxification is a process of removal of any toxins from the body or alleviating of consequences of a poisoning.

For whom is the Purification Program intended? First of all, it is intended for those who used illegal drugs, alcohol, medical drugs; for those who were exposed to toxins at work; for those who received radiation; for the large cities and ecologically unfriendly zones residents. Factually, this program is a must for all of us.

Here is what I found on the web written by a Medical Doctor, PhD., Doctor of Public Health, Executive Director of the Research Center for Chronic Pain and Dependency Disorders, Dr. Forest Tennant, regarding the Detoxification Program:

“The creator of this program, designed to rid the body of the toxins, Mr. L. Ron Hubbard, had discovered that toxic residues remain stored in the fatty tissues of the body for a long time. The accuracy of his observations astounded me. Graphs and preliminary reports confirm what we have suspected for quite some time: toxins do indeed leave the body in the course of this program.”

I have read several comments about this program from the people who went through it and some had even provided their phone numbers to call for a reference. I called and talked to some of them… and decided to do the Purification Program “Clear Body—Clear Mind.”

To beginning (Part 1)
To the next – ending (Part 3)

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