Goals And Happiness – by David Mayo
When we speak of goals, we are talking about a person making a decision to be something, to do something or to have something and seeking to bring that about. Most simply stated, a goal is a decision or a postulate; the two tend to be synonymous.
Recently people have asked me why we don’t currently audit people on goals. This is an interesting question, in that, although we don’t use processes that are called “goal processes”, you can’t actually audit anyone on anything but goals.
Because people are trying to accomplish various things in their lives, the auditing which they receive should be in the direction of helping them to accomplish those goals, or in the direction of removing obstacles that would prevent them from accomplishing those goals.
At times, auditing has been viewed as an effort to get rid of something unwanted. Or auditing can be seen as an effort to get rid of what is referred to as the “bank”, or to handle a “case”. These are only some aspects of what we are trying to do in auditing. Far more importantly, we are trying to help people create new abilities or rehabilitate and increase abilities that they already have. Thus the real purpose of auditing has to do with bringing about the accomplishment of one’s goals.
There was a specific auditing procedure done a few years ago called “Goals Processing” – a special technique that often interested people because of it’s name alone. “Goals Processing” suggests help in the accomplishment of goals, but that wasn’t really what this procedure was designed to do. In that process, a person listed goals which he had had in the past, the auditor would find the most charged one and then would run it out. The theory behind this technique was that if a person had a goal which became havily charged in the past, he would get stuck in the past on that goal; either stuck still trying to achieve a long ago goal; or perhaps stuck in the failure of trying to achieve that goal, which would influence his actions in the present. As such, the use of this process was somewhat limited because it depended on whether the individual was stuck in the past on a goal or not.
Many people hoped to find out precisely what their goal was by doing “Goals Processing”, and then to be able to accomplish that goal. There were some people who would try to find their goal as if there was some magical thing that was their GOAL and if they could just find out what IT was, life would somehow go better. And to some degree there is some truth to that, provided you realize that a person’s goal is whatever he chooses to make it – whatever he wants to do at the moment, or for a lifetime.
Discovery and accomplishment is in the realm of positive gain and it is in that direction that auditing best done. If a person has auditing goals for improving specific abilities the auditing is more likely to be successful. Too much concentration on getting rid of things tends to be limiting.
To achive true happiness by the accomplishment of one’s goal, one must understand the composition of happiness. There is one definition of happiness that states that happiness is the overcoming of obstacles toward a goal. That can be true, but happiness doesn’t necessarily occur just by overcoming obstacles. There has to be a bit more to happiness than that. In order to bring happiness, a goal must be worthwhile or of value – and it must be beneficial to others. This immediately takes a goal, or happiness, out of the realm of being a selfish, or purely self-interested matter.
I heard a radio commentary recently where someone referred to the Sixties as being the “me” decade because at that time people were involved in finding themselves and being themselves. But, being one’s self is not enough to make one happy. One must also do something of value, and in order for that to occur, it is necessary to interact with and help others.
There are some things that enter in to whether or not a person will successfully achieve his goals. A person’s basic personality and outlook on life are important to reaching goals. If someone decides to see out towards a goal which is greatly at variance with his personality and the things he likes, it is unlikely the goal will be achieved – a lot of reasons for not doing things toward the goal will come up and he will do what he really likes doing instead. Such a goal is not actually a personal goal, it is an idea that the person has decided to adopt. An obvious example of an adopted goal would be a person accepting what others want him to do as a goal.
The matter of establishing a goal is simple, if one approaches it simply. But, people sometimes set goals based on what they feel would be pleasing to or approved by other people. And that is a mistake. In order to successfully set a goal, one must be sincere.
For you to be successful in your goals, it’s necessary for you to determine what you really want to do. Then figure out how others could benefit from your achievement. If you do this, you will come up with a goal that you can achieve and the doing of it will be pure pleasure.
It has long been known that people are not acting at their full potential (or to the full capacity of their abilities). I think that to a large degree it is not just because of engrams and aberrations. I think it is also because they haven’t formulated a goal that is something that they would like to do and that is beneficial to others. I think this is the key to happiness: Set out to do something that you are capable of doing and would enjoy doing and which helps yourself and others at the same time. Then you will have a happy life.
There’s an intimate connection between setting your goal, achieving it, helping other people, happiness and aliveness. And I think a very simple route to being more alive is simply to review what one is striving towards.
Often when we talk about a process or a drill, it is agreed that the E.P. of it shouldn’t be known. But, I’m going to suggest a drill and, in case also tell you what the E.P. is likely to be, because it will be useful.
When determining a goal, go through a series of goals and ask yourself:
- Is this goal beneficial to myself?
- Is this goal beneficial to others?
- Is this goal something I would like doing?
You will look at various goals, and probably end-up by realizing that you had a goal all along, that you were working on it, and that you “knew” it all the time.
Although this might sound like there isn’t any discovery or learning involved in this little exercise, there is in that you now can be certain about what goal you have. [Attempt], whether or not it’s the right thing and within your ability to achieve, and you can enjoy working towards it.
I hope these words are helpful.
From AAC Journal 1984-86